i am so glad its beautiful outside again, although I'm not taking advantage of it. I work tonight from 9:30pm-3:00am so i am just laying in my bed watching music videos with the window open. My mom is out of town and more often than not when she's gone i am upset. I just like having her around me, even though sometimes we fight and disagree. I need to learn how to handle her being gone because she has to leave a lot so she can work and make money.
Anyways, i was talking to Catherine the other night and something she said to me really made me feel a little better. I think that a lot of people are better than me, or I'm better than certain people. But she told me that no one is better than anyone else because even though i make mistakes that are evident to others the people who seem perfect in my eyes may have thoughts that are worse than my actions and in gods eyes that is the same thing. None of us deserve anything we have and i should remind myself of that every day. I am blessed to have the things i have and i will not take advantage of the fact that god died for my sins and downfalls. God has recently showed his love to me more than i have ever noticed and it makes me extremely happy! And i find it strange that he showed up when he did because i had hit ROCK BOTTOM and definitely embarrassed him and i was the last person he should have helped out. But none-the-less never left my side.
I had a dream a long time ago, the most realistic dream ever. I was walking down the beach holding gods hand, he was a LOT taller than me and i was a child. I was walking on the side closest to the water and i would run and play in the water and run ahead in the sand but would always come back and hold his hand. Behind us was darkness and ahead of us were seagulls. God told me not to look back because he wasn't. That's powerful. That dream was a while ago, when i lived in Florida. I think about it, and it totally applies to my life right now! I shouldn't look back and worry about all that i have done because god sure isn't. He is always with me no matter what i do. Also, if god isn't judging what i have done then who are you or who am i to judge all that i have done?
:)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
i couldn't agree more... that's what i've been telling you all along too! don't look back... the past is the past for a reason. ya live, ya learn, and now ya got me ;) i'd say that's a pretty good pay-off for having to go through all that junk haha
ReplyDeleteUmmm...Hi. You don't know me and I don't know you, but that's an intense dream. Thanks for putting it out there like that.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad what I said helped you haha I was trying to think of a good way to say that cuz I didn't make it up haha actually it's something Hannah said to me a while back when I was struggling with something similar. I often feel inadequate too, mostly with my parents because they are such God-fearing people and they deserve a better behaved daughter that would bring honor to them and not cause them so much worry and also a lot with my sister because she seems to be such a perfect daughter in almost every way...at lest in my eyes. Buttt she told me that I was wrong. You truly can't judge a book by it's cover huh? haha.
ReplyDelete