i realized rainy days bring me down, not only that but i need to figure out a normal sleep schedule because without sleep i am a grouch. I did notice one thing about me though, no matter what kind of mood i may be in, children cheer me up. they are so funny and cute. I went to a 5 year olds ballerinas birthday party today and i was so thrilled to be part of it. Poor jake, he had to sit around with a bunch of little girls in too toos haha! I will post photos very soon, they are precious.
on another note, i have had a lot on my mind but i dont think im ready to share yet. Maybe i will share soon. hopefully, soon.
My body is aching and im not exactly sure why. my legs, toes, shoulders, arms, fingers, and back.And on top of my body aching, im breaking out on my forehead! I NEVER get pimples, ughhh. It is not good!
My mom was so nice, today she bought me two side tables and a window curtain thing. So my room is coming together nicely. For those who dont know, my room was just sort of created out of a random part of the house. And i insisted it was to be painted purple with black and white everything. So it's a work in progress but i love it!
alright, work at 7:00am!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
everyday
Lately i have been examining my life and looking back at the things i had to go through to get where i am right now and it's crazy. Life definitely works itself out in amazing ways. I find it funny that god knows me so well. I'm almost positive i was born to be a mother and raise a family younger than others. The things that i have gone through in my life have definitely given me the tools i need, to do what i was born to do. For example, i have been in so many relationships with people so i could see what i like and what i don't like in a mate, also, i have worked in multiple day cares and have been raised taking care of friends children. I may go through things that you have never experienced because you were meant for a completely different purpose than i was. I didn't graduate high school, i didn't continue in college, i don't have a particular hobby that i am good at, and most of those things would help other people live out their future but not mine. It's just strange, i love having my late night talks with Catherine. She helps clear my mind so well. Our friendship is so unique, and special to me. Anyways, i have to work at 5 so i think I'm going to start getting ready. I will most likely post later on this weekend. :) life is beautiful, no matter how it comes at you.
Monday, March 9, 2009
beautiful
i am so glad its beautiful outside again, although I'm not taking advantage of it. I work tonight from 9:30pm-3:00am so i am just laying in my bed watching music videos with the window open. My mom is out of town and more often than not when she's gone i am upset. I just like having her around me, even though sometimes we fight and disagree. I need to learn how to handle her being gone because she has to leave a lot so she can work and make money.
Anyways, i was talking to Catherine the other night and something she said to me really made me feel a little better. I think that a lot of people are better than me, or I'm better than certain people. But she told me that no one is better than anyone else because even though i make mistakes that are evident to others the people who seem perfect in my eyes may have thoughts that are worse than my actions and in gods eyes that is the same thing. None of us deserve anything we have and i should remind myself of that every day. I am blessed to have the things i have and i will not take advantage of the fact that god died for my sins and downfalls. God has recently showed his love to me more than i have ever noticed and it makes me extremely happy! And i find it strange that he showed up when he did because i had hit ROCK BOTTOM and definitely embarrassed him and i was the last person he should have helped out. But none-the-less never left my side.
I had a dream a long time ago, the most realistic dream ever. I was walking down the beach holding gods hand, he was a LOT taller than me and i was a child. I was walking on the side closest to the water and i would run and play in the water and run ahead in the sand but would always come back and hold his hand. Behind us was darkness and ahead of us were seagulls. God told me not to look back because he wasn't. That's powerful. That dream was a while ago, when i lived in Florida. I think about it, and it totally applies to my life right now! I shouldn't look back and worry about all that i have done because god sure isn't. He is always with me no matter what i do. Also, if god isn't judging what i have done then who are you or who am i to judge all that i have done?
:)
Anyways, i was talking to Catherine the other night and something she said to me really made me feel a little better. I think that a lot of people are better than me, or I'm better than certain people. But she told me that no one is better than anyone else because even though i make mistakes that are evident to others the people who seem perfect in my eyes may have thoughts that are worse than my actions and in gods eyes that is the same thing. None of us deserve anything we have and i should remind myself of that every day. I am blessed to have the things i have and i will not take advantage of the fact that god died for my sins and downfalls. God has recently showed his love to me more than i have ever noticed and it makes me extremely happy! And i find it strange that he showed up when he did because i had hit ROCK BOTTOM and definitely embarrassed him and i was the last person he should have helped out. But none-the-less never left my side.
I had a dream a long time ago, the most realistic dream ever. I was walking down the beach holding gods hand, he was a LOT taller than me and i was a child. I was walking on the side closest to the water and i would run and play in the water and run ahead in the sand but would always come back and hold his hand. Behind us was darkness and ahead of us were seagulls. God told me not to look back because he wasn't. That's powerful. That dream was a while ago, when i lived in Florida. I think about it, and it totally applies to my life right now! I shouldn't look back and worry about all that i have done because god sure isn't. He is always with me no matter what i do. Also, if god isn't judging what i have done then who are you or who am i to judge all that i have done?
:)
Sunday, March 8, 2009
sunshine!
what a beautiful weekend, it was spent well! Most of the days were outside and thats the best way to utilize sunshine! i spent every day with my lovely boyfriend. I dont have much on my mind today, im super tired and have to work ALL week. All i have to say is im so lucky to be in the relationship that i am and jake couldnt make me happier. ALSO catherine is my very best friend and she is such a great person when i need to vent. i love them both so much. the end
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
march 4, 2009
i'm in a not so great mood today, i dont know whats wrong. Everything is upsetting me. Maybe i miss jake, i havent seen him for 2 days i think, thats not that long! geez i just need something to cheer me up! im usually always so happy, and i just dont feel like myself! Until tomorrow...
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
march 3, 2009
Well today is the first official day i am in a new relationship. It's a bit odd for me, but i will get used to it. I adore Jake so all is well! He is the complete opposite of my last boyfriend which i find to be a huge relief. I'm a bit scared of the future but none-the-less welcome it with open arms. I feel like people who don't understand change cant live life to the fullest. People, sometimes, try and stay in one spot (physically and/or mentally) out of fear, but i love change! The change in my life has helped me grow so much and i appreciate it more and more every day. As cliche as this may sound, life is definitely a book and each new experience should be considered a new chapter. Sometimes the chapter youre reading is great but, who knows, the next may be better than the last!
I'm at work right now, I'm a nanny to a 2 and 6 year old. Precious girls, Amya and Azaria. I just put them to sleep so i get to relax and watch tv. *i get paid to do this, haha!*
Dream time! Last night i had such an odd dream, i was with two relatively close friends and we were all supposed to go to someones house for a party or something and apparently i forgot socks. So i asked them to wait for me and instead they ran off laughing together and i had to find the house on my own. Sometimes i feel like that in real life with these two particular friends, so maybe it's symbolic of something. The socks i dont quite understand but thats alright, haha! My dreams are crazy. For example: Sushi Your Name! ---->explaination! There is this resturaunt called 'Sushi Your Name' but they did not sell sushi. When you got to the window you had to say "sushi mary" (in my case) but whatever your name is you put in after sushi. You had to do this so you could get your food. It was strange!
anyways, until tomorrow!
I'm at work right now, I'm a nanny to a 2 and 6 year old. Precious girls, Amya and Azaria. I just put them to sleep so i get to relax and watch tv. *i get paid to do this, haha!*
Dream time! Last night i had such an odd dream, i was with two relatively close friends and we were all supposed to go to someones house for a party or something and apparently i forgot socks. So i asked them to wait for me and instead they ran off laughing together and i had to find the house on my own. Sometimes i feel like that in real life with these two particular friends, so maybe it's symbolic of something. The socks i dont quite understand but thats alright, haha! My dreams are crazy. For example: Sushi Your Name! ---->explaination! There is this resturaunt called 'Sushi Your Name' but they did not sell sushi. When you got to the window you had to say "sushi mary" (in my case) but whatever your name is you put in after sushi. You had to do this so you could get your food. It was strange!
anyways, until tomorrow!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
