What words really mean!

It's funny, I'm 19 years old and am very familiar with these words and their definitions that women use with a man, but some men still don't understand what they are getting themselves into when these words are being used, So here is a little dictionary for anyone who may be in the dark...


1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the football before helping around the house.

3. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

4. A Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer quickly to No 9 for the meaning of nothing.)

5. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

6. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot', which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' - that will bring on No. 7).

7. Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying, "F-- YOU!"

8. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to No. 4.

9. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in "Fine"

mitch hedberg

i am waking up at 6am to take my mom to the airport, i am SO tired.
but i do love my mother

ANYWAYS, on another note here is just something to laugh at! I love how comedians can say things that run through everyone's head that just don't seem all that funny, but when said on stage and in a clever manner it's hilarious. It's the best!

1. If you go to the grocery store and stand in front of the lunch meat section for too long, you start to get pissed off at turkeys. You see turkey ham, turkey pastrami, turkey bologna -- somebody needs to tell the turkeys, "Man, just be yourself."

2. One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, he said,"Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger. "Here's a picture of me when I'm older." " How'd you pull that off? Lemme see that camera!"

3. Whenever I walk, people try to hand me out fliers, and when someone tries to hand me out a flier, it's kinda like they're saying, "Here, you throw this away."

4. I got a king sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable. "Oh, you're a king, you say? Well you won't believe what I have in store for you! It's to your exact specifications! I believe I can set up your lady friend, too!"

5. My belt holds up my pants and my pants have belt loops that hold up the belt. What the fuck’s really going on down there? Who is the real hero?

6. I was walking by a dry cleaner at 3 a.m., and it said "Sorry, we're closed." You don't have to be sorry. It's 3 a.m., and you're a dry cleaner. It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open. I'm not gonna walk by at ten and say, "Hey, I walked by at three, you guys were closed. Someone owes me an apology. This jacket would be halfway done!"

appreciating what you have

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”

-Frederick Keonig


I do this way too often, for example, in January i moved out of my house because i complained it was too cramped and too much commotion, but shortly after i moved back home. The place i had moved to was just not the same as being around my families chaos. If i had just learned to appreciate what i had before moving out i wouldn't have to gone through all i did being without my family for the short 4 or 5 weeks i was gone.


i'm at work, i got the kids to sleep around 830! it was awesome! now i am relaxing till eleven :)

happy day!

50 ways

50 Ways To Make Yourself Miserable

1. Compare yourself frequently with others.
2. Belittle yourself.
3. Don’t believe in dreams, you think dreams only happen when you are sleeping.
4. Say yes to everybody and everything.
5. Work in a job you hate.
6. Complain about everything.
7. Complain about everything to your friends.
8. Suspicious of everything.
9. Counting your troubles.
10. Harbor negative thoughts.
11. Trying to please everyone and let everyone walk all over you.
12. Constantly think about the past.
13. Constantly think about the future.
14. Focusing on what you lack.
15. Focusing on what you don’t want.
16. Need others to validate you constantly.
17. Think of everything that can possibly go wrong in your life.
    
18. Being jealous easily.
19. Always envy others and never grateful of what you have instead.
20. Imitating others due to lack of self confidence.
21. Lacking self esteem and cause others to dislike you.
22. Think the world revolves around you.
23. Constantly judging others.
24. Absorbing all the bad news daily in the papers.
25. Junk food is your best companion.
26. Exercise is your worst enemy.
27. Think that things can only go your way.
28. Do not accept others opinion.
29. Lack of sleep.
    
30. Lack of goals.
31. Worry consistently about the sky is falling.
32. Plan but never take action.
33. Fail to plan.
34. Feel that people around you are all jerks.
35. Thinking there is no purpose in living.
36. Being the “If Man”. If my father is the president, then I will be successful. If ____ then I will be _____. (fill in the blanks)
37. Lottery is the only way to success.
38. Try to control everything that you can’t control.
39. Expect to be appreciated.
40. Expect others to be grateful to you.
41. You will not forget about criticism.
42. Hate people around you to be successful
43. Shirk responsibilities.
44. Receive and never give.
45. Do things that are easy.
46. Overwork.
47. Never forgive.
48. Never give your best effort in things you do.
49. Perfectionism.
50. Choosing to be miserable

I don't know about you, but i probably do half of those without even thinking about it. Maybe if we all stopped and realized the things that make us miserable and tried to stop doing them life would be a lot easier.

1. Compare yourself frequently with others.
2. Belittle yourself.

those two are the ones that i do daily, hourly, minutely, secondly, ALL the time. And to be honest, it is really hard for me to be happy when i put myself down so frequently. I find that its hard for other people to want to be around someone that doesn't think high enough of themselves to realize the good things. For example, when i am out with someone who is undoubtedly beautiful and they say "oh i look terrible," i become annoyed, but i do that same thing. So maybe i should wake up and stop being so annoying :)

anyways, a friend of mine died last night and i hope (even though none of you know him) that you will keep his family and close friends in your prayers, he was 19 or 20 and was t-boned by a vehicle going 80mph. Life is short, and unexpected.

friends!

"in the recipe of life, the most important ingredient is friends"

everything life is

"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it."
— Mother Teresa



what would life be if you didn't benefit from it, admire it, realize the dream, meet the challenges, complete the duties, play the games, fulfill promises, overcome sorrows, sing songs, accept struggles, confront tragedies, adventure, make your own luck, and fight for what is yours to keep.

jake, bealer, mark and i went for a little bit of an adventure this evening, here are some photos!

letter to mother nature

Dear Mother Nature,
First off I want to thank you for bringing me my monthly gift, ......not. I don't enjoy this time at all, and I am cranky and in pain. Second, I want to point out that I'm am fully aware of the fact that it is difficult for us, as women, to make up our minds but this is ridiculous. You need to choose, warm, cold, cool, hot, rain, snow, sunshine! Please! It's very confusing, one day I walk outside and I'm wearing shorts, and the next day it is snowing. I just don't understand how you could be so indecisive. Honestly, I'm a pretty indecisive person myself, but if you need help choosing I'll be more than happy to help. *cough*sunshine*cough* just a suggestion... I know a lot of people who would be thrilled if you would just pick one season to throw at us at a time, trust me. In saying those things I want to let you know that I have been sick more than once in the past month or so, and I'm not blaming you, but um, i mean...you sure cant blame my immune system with the weather acting the way it has been acting, now can we? I'm just saying...

Anyways, Mother N, I hope you take all that I said into consideration.

Until Later,
-Mary-Elizabeth!